Monday, May 30, 2011

I drove by the cemetary today to look at Mom and Daddy's and Amber's gravesites.  The flower arrangement I made for Mom and Daddy's grave was gone! 
I looked around and didn't see it but it didn't look like anyone else's was missing.
I loved making that flower arrangement.  I felt like I was giving Mom some flowers for the Spring. 
I am going to go back tomorrow and look all around and see if it blew off and is laying out there somewhere.
When I made it, Gina (older sister) said she thought it looked too wild.  I think that was great.  Mom loved wild flowers and wild looking gardens. 
This is a picture I took of part of the backyard garden in May of 2009.  That was the last year she was able to take care of it the way she wanted to.  I remember thinking when I took them that we wouldn't have the beauty of it forever.
The idea for this blog came to me the week before James' High School Graduation on May 20, 2011. 
I was working my guts out in the garden because we were having family for the Graduation that haven't been here since the garden started blooming this spring. 
I definitely didn't want people thinking I had let Mom's garden go to pot the first spring I had it!
The first day, I just walked around outside feeling completely overwhelmed. 
I told everybody during the winter that I was just going to mow most of it over and make it manageable for me, a person that does not enjoy working outside and sweating. 
Nobody in the family was happy with this but I knew all the flower work would fall on me and it was way too much work.
As the Spring started, my mind changed as I watched first the daffodils and then the iris start to bloom.  There was a new jewel outside everyday.  I was feeling very proud of the beauty of it.  (like I had anything to do with it)
Danny and I started walking around the 2 acres of plantings in the evenings.
The "garden" is 2 acres of trees, bushes, vines, and all kinds of plants.  It is not a formal garden, it is a bunch of clumps of different plants that Mom knew would look good together.
I felt so smart when I could identify a plant before it started blooming.  There were clematis and lillies.  That was the extend of my knowledge before they bloomed.
During our strolls, we would find pretty flowers that you couldn't see until you walked by them.  I don't know what most of them are but they are all pretty and make me happy when I discover them.
I talked to mom a lot the week before graduation. 
I had James out helping me one afternoon.  He was pruning a plant (way back at my instruction) that was encroaching to close to the deck. 
While he was doing it, he said, "someone in Heaven is crying."  I assured him that Mom is not crying she is smiling because we are working in her garden and I learned my love of pruning things without fear from her.
I felt like I was connecting with her when I pruned the trees and would see the prune marks she has made in the past.
I also realized that the garden was a mess because Mom was sick all last spring and summer.  She wasn't able to do her usual daily gardening every day for hours.  She passed away on August 8.  By then, most of it was dry and dying.  Mom would have spend a lot of time watering to make sure things would stay alive.
I am still not in love with the work of gardening but I am starting to appreciate it.  It makes me feel connected to Mom in a way that nothing else can.  This is her lifelong creation and I hope I do her proud as I am tolling away.  I know she is watching me and laughing.  She always tried to get me interested in gardening and I did learned a lot from her but, like so many thinks between us, I didn't practice what she preached.
I hope you all enjoy reading my blog. I am going to be updating it with my thoughts, memories, discoveries and pictures.